It's Not Enough

Deciding what to do for the fireside chat was a difficult task, I went through different ideas about how to talk about my beliefs and in that process I discovered a pattern of ideas that represent some of my beliefs. What I decided to do wasn't about talking, I decided I wanted to represent a feeling, I wanted to find a way to illustrate an emotion and do it in a way that can be relatable to others.

I've always been passionate about art, and no matter what medium I always have the feeling that what I do it's not enough. There is always more I can do, and there are more things I can learn, this way of thinking has been present all my life, sometimes it turns into a sickly perfectionism, and other times it becomes somewhat destructive because what I do will never be good enough. This is definitely a common feeling among artists and many can relate to this emotions.

“It’s not enough” it's a constant search for satisfaction, fulfillment and realization that at times seems unachievable. The video in the background is a demonstration of the same concept from a spiritual standpoint, it's a depiction of how at times all the answers we get from religious institutions are not satisfactory and we always want more. At times we can be frustrated because it seems like we will never be good enough, It seems like no matter what we do we will never be even close to fulfill what is required for us to gain our salvation. Of course that is not the way things are, but at times, the amount of things we are expected to do  is overwhelming and frustrating.

One of my biggest fears is to be absorbed in the culture of consumerism. The world surrounding us is always telling us that what we have is not enough, we need a better car, a bigger house, a nicer body, more clothes,and the list goes on. I think that if we focus in acquiring more things we will always be lacking happiness.

Overall, my performance is my way of representing all this thoughts and anxieties. I decided to use food because I found that it was the best way to describe the frustration of never having enough. Wearing a white shirt and tie was a way of contrasting and increasing the impact of what I was doing with the food, we always link formal attire with the refined, the elegant and civilized.

My intention was to do something that had an open interpretation, I wanted to be ambiguous enough for the viewers to have a personal experience and draw their own conclusions, I wanted to make them think about something that matters to them, just like I was doing something that matters to me.